A Spider and a Merc
by Lordriochi
Summary: Juri Han faces off with a very annoying mercenary dressed in red and black. Guess who?  Warning: Language, very "interesting" things and breaking of the fourth wall.
1. The Spider

A Spider and a Merc

"Please I will pay my dues to your employer! I'll do anything you want!" A man's throat was grasped with a firm hand.

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you started to play cheapskate. You see our business associates never try cheating Shadaloo."

"I know what of what I did, please put me down!"

"Well, if you want to get started on your penalty," She slammed the man into the table with her hand.

Her eye glowed into a deep purple, the last thing many of her targets see before, SMASH! The man gurgled out a mouthful of blood as the life faded out of him. She removed her embedded leg out of his chest, and grinned.

"What a shame, you could have been such an asset to S.I.N., but now you're just a tied loose end." She walked out of the hotel room, going through the window she had opened a few minutes ago. She climbed back on the roof and traveled for some time to her one of her dojo. They were hiding spots and instant ways to get back home.

Just when she arrived at another rooftop, she heard a familiar shout right below her.

"Freeze Juri, you're coming with me!" Juri did what she was told, freezing in place. Little Chun Li again, she is such a cute little pest. She had such determination, yet she was so attractive. Her blue attire looked so tight and her voice was like velvet. And those breasts were so large! To be honest, Juri had an infatuation with the Chinese Interpol agent.

"Well, you caught me police girl," Juri spoke out in a silky voice.

"But do you want to lock away your beautiful diehard crush away?" Juri turned her head to face Chun Li who was behind her, expressing lust, with her right eye glowing seductively. Juri swore every time she had mentioned crush to her, Chun Li would blush red for a moment in silence. Yeah, police girl wanted her so badly.

"You are disgusting! You sick murderer!" Yeah, little Chun Li wanted her.

"Oh come on Chun Li, you're only flattering me." Juri snickered for a bit.

Chun Li had enough talk and jumped up onto the roof near her. She took a stance, with fury in her eyes.

Juri also took a stance, grinning.

"I just hope you'll last longer than last time." She licked her lips.

"You're not escaping!"

Chun Li ran and sent a flying kick towards her. Juri casually stepped aside as she passed by.

Before Chun Li landed, Juri smacked her on the back. Chun Li got angry and started to use her Spinning Bird Kick. Juri jumped over Chun Li and chuckled.

"It's nice view from up there!"

Chun Li got even more frustrated as she started to punch at her. The Korean blocked all the punches and sent a swift kick from with both her legs. Chun Li countered by kicking into the assassin's legs.

Juri regained her foothold and they both started to kick at each other.

"I am amazed police girl, you're lasting longer! Where were you train at, a strip club?"

"SHUT UP!" Chun Li punched Juri in the face. She fell over in pain.

Blood squirted out her nose. She covered her bleeding nose, highly irritated.

"…You bitch!" Juri's eye glowed into a deep purple. She went into a frenzy and started to attacked. Chun Li countered with some kicks from the powerful hits, but she was overwhelmed.

She fell onto the ground as Juri prepared to finish her off.

"You got to have your beauty sleep!" The woman knocked Chun Li out with a brutal punch in the face. It wasn't enough to kill her, since it was fun having her around.

As Chun Li laid there unconsciousness, many twisted thoughts came to mind. Juri could dump her body into a brothel, finally have her way with her, or take photos of her body, stripped nude, for blackmail for the future. But for the South Korean, it wasn't good enough.

Juri had instead decided to take a trophy. She took Chun Li's blue panties off Interpol agent's pantyhose. She smelled the aroma off the panties and felt like going crazy, well crazier than how she was usually was. She was going to have fun with it.

She put away the lingerie into her pocket and walked down to her safe house.

"For the next chapter, guess who?"

Read and Review plz.


	2. The Merc

The Merc

Some parts of this story are inspired by fan art on DA.

"Sir, are you paying for that?" The apathetic bartender spoke to the weird guy.

The weird guy was dressed up like a damn retarded superhero or something. He had guns, grenades, and swords attached to his body like jewelry. His suit was schemed in black and red. If I didn't know better, he looked like Spider Man.

"What did you just say, Moe?" Oh dear, the weird guy was looking at him. He could feel to the man's stare burning on him just behind that red and black mask. Why did he call me Moe? The guy's mouth moved quickly under the mask, jabbering without hesitation. Must be one of those loony wise guys he heard of. In this town, it's more than common as to see crazy blokes running around here in England. I asked the guy again my question.

"I said pal, are you going to,"

"OF COURSE I HEARD YOU! I just didn't like your tone." From the expression under his face he looked like he pouted like a child. A very unstable challenged kid.

The guy chugged down more shots.

"Alright then pal, what's with you?" I prepared to brace for a frigging punch. God knows how many times I was punched in the jaw.

"What's wrong? There are lot things, but let's go to the beginning!" Oh god, a damn monologue. Just like in Hollywood.

"I had cancer, errr, I had used to have wonderful yellow textboxes that follow me around! I have so much fun with those. I had found a zombie version of myself, left as a rotting skull. He was so much fun to talk too! Then I had teamed up with a muscle bound douche with silver hair and an arm I bet he jacked off with."

God damn this guy, he is going to go on and on! He is more annoying than a damn broken musical box!

I poured the weird guy another two shots of vodka with his mask on as I listened in. Weird how he isn't drunk from the shots yet. From the random bits of information, not that it mattered to me, I was able to make some sort of sense of it.

"Oh, you mean right now? Hmmm, oh yeah, I had to kill someone ten minutes earlier, and next thing I know, the guy's already dead! Some kill stealing asshole took my paycheck!"

"Sorry to hear that."

"Damn straight."

There was an awkward moment of silence between me and the bloke.

"Really, well that settles it! I'm going to find the jackass! Thanks bub, I'm going right now!"

He was about walk out when suddenly.

"Oh yeah, did I mention I can break the fourth wall?"

"What the bloody fuck is the," BOOM!

Deadpool walked out of the bar with his money in tow as the smoking bullet casing rolled outside with him.

Damn asshole. Pity he had to waste a bullet. He could sliced him up like a watermelon and blown his parts into ashes with his grenades. Ever since his current gig, he had lost some things. No yellow text boxes? This really sucks! Well at least he could read other people's minds thanks to his shining! Or maybe he has the whole script to this whole story in his pocket.

Boy, he really missed being in the Marvel versus Capcom game. That Morrigan chick was hot as hell! Well, not as sexy as his current girlfriend!

Beating his enemies to death with his Heath Bar and doing what he did was just so much cooler. Oh wait. Why was he here again? Oh yeah, someone took his kill. He thought it was going to be easy for tonight. Just kill the target, get some fish and chips, get drunk as hell and celebrate.

The gig was for some quick cash, to renovate the Deadpool Crib. After the Hulk had gone through Deadpool's mansion during his recent rampage, Deadpool had to stay with his wimpy sidekick, Bob, in the former HYDRA agent's apartment. Needless to say, they weren't getting along very well. Nobody touches his Twinkies and gets away from it. Several times already, Bob ended up in the hospital for bullet holes or odd injuries. Bob did not tell them what really happened since Deadpool had saved his ass time and time before, despite he was kicked around like a puppy dog. Deadpool could had chosen Cable for his temporary roommate, but he is not, calmest guy to stay with.

Deadpool had decided to download a shit load of things related to sweet, sweet porn. It's a treasure worth to die for. However, Cable found out, and responded to this, but not in the "Oh come on man" tone.

"YOU PERVERTED ASSHOLE!"

SPESH! SMUSH! SQUISH! SQUASH!

"STOP DOWNLOADING YOUR PORN ON MY COMPUTER! THAT SHIT GOES ALL THE WAY TO MY BRAIN! AND ANOTHER THING! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER GOD DAMN SPAM MESSAGE SAYING MY PENIS SIZE IS NOT LARGE ENOUGH!"

SPLATTT! CRUCSH!

Deadpool shivered at the memory. His guts were spilled out on the floor in the living room. That won't kill him since he has the healing factor like Wolverine thanks to Weapon X program, making him immortal, but still, it was painful as hell. Cable had ripped his internal organs out and stomped on them. After all that, his guts looked like spaghetti as he vaguely reminded.

Shaking off the chain of random as hell thoughts, what had happened to his target? Deadpool quickly teleported back inside the hotel room. He examined the body and found out that there was an enormous impact on the guy's abdomen.

"What the holy fuck? " It had to be someone very strong to bust in someone's gut like that, but who could it be? He decided to get back to the Bob Cave to rest up. He'll need another gig by tomorrow.

Meanwhile in SIN HQ, located in a disclosed loaction

"Juri, I have a task for you." Seth's cool voice chilled the air around him.

"Yes, Seth?" Juri appeared without a sound and loomed over Seth.

"I prefer you to call me Master, but that is not needed in this matter. I want you to assassinate a man."

"And who is the lucky boy?" She turned her head in curiosity and twisted interest.

"A fellow deemed an annoyance to Shadaloo." He activated a holograph of the person.

"He is called Deadpool, or Wade Wilson. He has been troubling our business associates as their heads are on the most wanted lists."

"So he's just a mercenary? Why do I have to kill him?" Juri looked to Seth in boredom. She yawned in amusement.

"He's not a normal hired gun. The usual packs of mercenaries are in all in for the money or the reputation. On the other hand, Mr. Wilson is a mad man who has a very unpredictable and errant behavior."

"So you're sending me to give him a brutal lobotomy?"

"That would be a bonus to relieving our allies' minds, but Deadpool is nearly invincible. He can heal from the most gruesome of injuries in a matter of seconds."

"He's a real challenge huh? Where's he hiding at? Juri laughed at that. Every so-called invincible person she killed begged for their lives. This Deadpool would not be different. She could see right now.

"He is located at this address, in this country."

Seth pinpointed an area on a massive screen; he was in the USA, in an apartment residence in Chicago. Darn, and she was about to have fun with her trophy.

Juri stretched for a bit boringly and walked to the teleportation device. This was going to very fun. She did her trademark wide grin and disappeared in a flash of light.

To be continued!


	3. Bob's place

Bob's place

Deadpool impatiently ringed the doorbell. Bob quickly opened the door with haste.

"I'm impressed Bob, your reaction is getting faster. Who's a good pet?" Deadpool rubbed his gloved hand on Bob's head roughly. Bob laughed nervously.

The Merc with a mouth walked inside the cramped apartment. Ever since he moved in, the place was littered with beer cans, a couple bullet casings, empty chicken buckets, wrecked pieces of furniture, and to top it off, and a large katana jutting in the wall.

"Hey, what's up?" Deadpool walked passed him, and sat on the couch.

"Bobby, let me tell you something. It has been shitstorm after shitstorm. My damn teleportation device is broken, my targets are dead before I get to them, and the worst thing of this week, is that I am pissed!"

"…Oh, sorry to hear that, Wade, but couldn't you do more jobs?" Before Bob could react, he was pulled to Deadpool in eye level.

"What the fuck did you say?" He took his hidden bowie knife on his suit and brushed it on the bridge of the hapless man's nose. Blood dripped out of the narrow wound. Bob started to quake in fear.

"I'm sorry boss! I'll never do that again, please don't hurt me!" Bob looked like he pissed and crapped himself at the same time. Though he would have been used to this abuse by now, Deadpool really terrified him. He looked at the masked man's expression. There was a massive scowl under that fabric. For two minutes, there was only dead silence. Deadpool suddenly released his grip on Bob and sheathed his blade back in its place.

"Bob, remember day one when you were a sniveling HYDRA pencil pusher?" Bob nodded.

"As I explained very clearly from years ago or so Minion, you were not to use my name, at all. You knew that. But why did you just do it right now?"

"Now this time you have dared to give me a suggestion as well doing an offense to my previously stated rule. Do you know what happens now, boy?"

Bob shook his head in response.

"Well, you get a FALCON PUNCH!" Deadpool's left fist connected with Bob's chin, and he went flying into a wall.

Bob pathetically got himself off the ground and looked at Deadpool walk to the kitchen.

He sighed in relief and he sat on the couch.

Deadpool dug through the packed fridge and slammed on a small box Chimichangas on the table. Deadpool, aside from beer, and Twinkies, loved the deep fried pastry. The frosty contents were removed and dropped on a plate. He placed the plate inside the small microwave and put the settings to defrost.

He went to the fridge to chug a swig of his favourite alcoholic drink, the old vodka pint. When unraveled some of his mask to drink, Bob turned away.

He didn't want to look at him whenever Deadpool was curling up his mask. He knew what was under that mask, and he didn't want to see it again. His face was like a creepy jack O lantern, looking all carved up and bone chilling to look at. Deadpool's scarred lower jaw was exposed as he drained the bottle. He breathed out a satisfied sigh, and covered his lower jaw with his mask. After he emptied the bottle, the microwave finished its mission.

"Ah, the sweet smell of Chimichangas!"

Deadpool smelled the delicious aroma, and took them out of their prison. His eyes glazed over them with lust as he removed his whole mask, revealing all of his head. He had a badly damaged face, completely bald, with red unsealing wounds all over his head making his head like a raisin. His condition on his whole body could have been considered to be a mild case of a flesh eating disease.

[HEY! Oh sweet! I still have some power of textboxes! Now you listen well, you damn writer! Quit describing my beautiful face! You're grossing out the readers! By the way, get THE STORY GOING! Sigh, I think that's it.]

"Now come to papa!" His teeth chomped into the crusty exterior, tasting the ground beef flow into his mouth like a river of ecstasy. While Deadpool had an orgy in his mouth, he failed to hear a strange crackling sound in the living room. Bob's jaw dropped in surprise, and tried to warn Deadpool.

"Deadpool! There's a," Bob's mouth was muffled as a firm twisted hand wrapped it.

"What is it Bobby? You found your balls yet?" Deadpool put on his mask, chuckling and looked outside. Deadpool's eyes underneath his mask widened with shock, and his mouth agape.

"...What the fuck?"

Deadpool tried to comprehend what was going on. Bob was being restrained by a strange looking woman. She was clad with white trousers, fingerless gloves, and a revealing purple half tank-top. She had a weird looking hairstyle, with two short bangs which looked like horns with purple rings at the back of her head, while she had two long bangs in the front of her delicate face. She looked dead sexy! Perverse thoughts at the back of Deadpool's head started building. So perverse, that it can not be written in this story. Deadpool, naturally, broke the silence.

"So Bob, I didn't know you brought guests! She's a friend of yours?" Bob shook his head violently, with his screaming muffled.

"Mmm, you're the infamous Deadpool, aren't you?" Juri spoke in her delicious silk voice.

"In the flesh, dead sexy. May I know the name of yours?" Deadpool responded.

"I am Juri Han, master assassin under the command of SIN." Juri grinned sinisterly.

"Sin? What's sin?"

"Hm, I guess stupidity is another trait that Seth forgot to warn me about."

"You calling me a moron? Listen toots, I'm the frigging best!"

Juri laughed manically.

"You're nothing but a joke. Mercenaries like you are a dime a dozen." Her eye glowed into a bright purple.

[OH HELL NO! THAT BITCH IS DISSING ME? OH YOU'RE DEAD!]

Strangely for once, Deadpool was getting angry. He never gets angry! He is supposed to be making the one-liners! He was being insulted and bested by a god damn woman!

"Oh, did I mention? Those people you were sent to kill? I'm the one who killed them." Juri stuck out her tongue and mocked him.

"You damn slut! That's it!" Deadpool whipped out his Uzis and fired. Bullets shredded through the couch and punched holes through the walls. Juri released her captive, dodging all the bullets and disappeared out of site. Deadpool walked to tend to Bob.

Suddenly, he heard Juri's chuckle and ducked. Her leg extended out over his head and he grabbed it with his hand. He slammed her on the ground with all his strength. Juri recovered and made a dash into the kitchen as he fired his Uzis again. Due to his anger, he had accidentally destroyed his plate full of Chimichangas. He stopped for a brief second, distracted.

[My Chimichangas, no, this can't be!]

"Come over here!" Juri gestured to him with one finger, blowing a kiss at him.

Deadpool's fury burned another fuel in his heart, Vengeance.

He dropped his empty guns and charged at Juri. Just when his fist was going to make an imprint on Juri's face, she swiftly slid around him and kicked his back. He fell on his face and countered back. Most of his jabs and kicks missed, while her feet smacked into his chest like knives. He blocked a rather blunt blow and fell onto the floor. Juri walked up to him, kicking him on his back.

"Ha, you may be immortal, but you're weak like the rest of them!"

Juri's eye glowed deep purple as stomped her foot onto Deadpool's skull, making a loud cracking noise.

Deadpool fell there, defeated. Juri laughed as she walked up to Bob who was huddled up in a corner.

"Now I have two trophies all in one night?" She licked her lips and grabbed Bob by his neck. His feet uselessly kicked in the air as she examined him.

"Let's have some fun, shall we?" Juri leaned over to Bob, who was shaking in fear. They both left the apartment through the window, leaving Deadpool still on the floor, unconscious.


	4. Confrontation

Confrontation

The squad cars stopped around the complex. The men inside them came out, walking into the building.

The neighboring tenants had reported loud noises from the neighboring room, along with several bullets ricocheting into their housings from the residence. The police officers ran up the stairs and stopped at the apartment where the commotion came from. One of them kicked the door open and all of them drew their pistols. They walked into the room, not knowing what was inside. The place was disaster zone. There were bullet holes all over and a body was lying on the ground. They turned the body over, inspecting the corpse. The body in question was dressed in a red and black jumpsuit with a mask with two white eye slits. The man had several pouches of ammunition, some grenades, and holstered on his belt was a massive Bowie knife. On the blade was streaked with some dried blood.

One of the officers began to remove the man's mask to identify him. All of the officers reared in shock of what was underneath the fabric. There were streams of clotted blood on the dead man's head. Some blood oozed out of his eyes, nose, and mouth. They saw the wretched expression on the man's putrid, deformed face, with his glazed eyes staring into theirs. Four of the five troopers wanted to retch out their donuts and coffee, leaving only one officer began to identify the cause of death.

He turned the body around to see any injuries. He found a massive blunt injury at the back of the skull. The officer reported back to the police station with his handheld transceiver.

Suddenly the eyes of the corpse fluttered with life and he rose off the ground slowly like a zombie.

"Oh shit!" The officers drew their guns out, aiming at the body. Adrenaline flowed through their veins as fast as a druggie getting his cocaine fix.

"Damn bitch, ouch, my head is killing me!" Deadpool rubbed his dented head and looked at what was going on.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Deadpool realized his head was exposed.

"You sons of bitches removed my mask! You were going to skull fuck and tea bag me weren't you? " He shuffled forward uneasily.

The officers unloaded all of their Glocks on him, shredding through his body like a hot knife through butter. [Mmm, butter! I like butter!] After their guns were emptied, Deadpool stood stiffly like nothing happened.

Their mouths were agape as all his wounds healed in an instant. The bullets popped out of the holes in his chest harmlessly and his damaged skull pieced together perfectly. He smiled casually as he wrenched his katana out of the wall near the window. [Ha, I love it when they realize they are so screwed.]

"Alright you pigs! Let's have a nice barbeque! I will start with cutting some choice piggy back ribs, served with some bloody pork!" Deadpool laughed insanely as he swung his mighty sword in the air.

Immediately, the cops ran out of the room with their tails between their legs.

Deadpool laughed manically as he pulled on his mask. He picked up his Uzis, reloading them and sheathed his katana in its place on his back while he hummed the Rocky theme song. He cracked his knuckles and exited out the window. He was going to get some payback.

"Nobody gets away with Bobnapping me!"

Meanwhile, somewhere in a disclosed place, Bob was tied to a chair with a red ball gag in his mouth. Juri sat on his lap, grinning as she rubbed his chin. His muffled screams didn't matter to her, and she gently got off his lower body. She giggled softly as she prodded him with a whip.

She laughed at Bob who shifted uncomfortably in the chair. The room he was in very dark, shrouding his sense of direction. Bob tried to speak, but he kept drooling from resisting with the gag.

"Mm, you want to say something?" Juri ripped the ball gag off for a moment. Bob breathed out in relief.

"Listen lady! You're going to be sorry when Deadpool gets here!"

He yelled at Juri with the anger that had bottled up inside him when Deadpool came to stay at his apartment.

Juri didn't hesitate to respond. She walked towards him very closely.

"Oh is that so? Well then, he will come over soon enough, won't he?" She grinned at him menacingly, shriveling Bob's temporary bravado to nothing.

Bob stared into Juri's eyes in a moment of silence. He realized the left eye looked very different. He saw the pupil transform into two bright orbs, just as he remembered when she knocked Deadpool out. He focused on that eye and it resembled some Chinese symbol for something. He got to travel around with Deadpool a lot, and he had seen that symbol when they went to Asia. Bob began to be entranced by the symbol in Juri's left eye. It was so hypnotic and beautiful.

"Like what you see?" Bob snapped out of his trance and looked at the face of the woman who kidnapped him.

In the dim lighting, he could see the delicate lines on her evil face, and that delicious smile, looking at it made his heart melt. Not unlike his past relationship with his wife, where he had only seen the perpetual disappointed frown on her face from marriage.

Juri grabbed his chin and pulled him closer to her, making both their noses are touching.

Bob nervously cracked a grin and looked into her eyes once more.

"Ah, I see that you have a school boy crush on me, how cute!" Juri said it sarcastically.

Bob stuttered an answer.

"What was that?" Juri grasped her free hand around his neck and squeezed it like a rubber duck.

Bob choked up and spoke more clearly.

"…You're pretty."

Juri grinned once more and removed his mask, unveiling….his average face"

The assassin gave a bored look to Bob.

"Let's keep the mask on instead." She slapped the mask back on his face.

"Oh my god, I'm getting some action!" Bob thought to himself very excitedly.

Juri freed him from the chair, stripping him to his mask and pair of boxers. His hands were placed into cuffs to finish it off.

"Let's see what your made out of!" She grinned as her hard whip rose in the air, ready to smack onto Bob's rear.

"Oh WTF Bob!" Deadpool spoke out in pure shock. He came out of the darkness surrounding the dim light in the warehouse.

"Look's like you were right, your friend did come," Juri grinned at Bob.

He laughed sheepishly and looked back to Deadpool.

"Ah, boss, I can explain!"

"No need Pet! You were getting raped by this bitch! Do you have pride? Oh wait, you don't." Deadpool laughed at his joke.

"Rape is such a strong word, Deadpool, I prefer domination!" Juri's eye glowed into the familiar deep purple.

Juri grinned wider and walked towards him. She zipped across the ground and sent an energized kick to his gut. Deadpool grabbed onto the leg, stopping her in mid air.

"Oh no, you don't!"

He roughly punched her in the stomach and shot at her with his Uzis. Despite the pain in her lower body, Juri hastily, but sloppily maneuvered from the bullets. Deadpool fired more rounds, rotating his guns like a crazed cowboy.

"Yee haw! Run varmint run!" He laughed manically as he fired his chains of bullets across the room, narrowly missing her. Bob got off the tiled floor and dodged the rapid bullets. He didn't want to be part of Deadpool's collateral damage, again.

Juri made a dash to Deadpool's blindside, using the darkness to conceal herself.

Her fist glowed into a dim purple when it contacted his spine. Deadpool flew into the chair, demolishing it. Juri grabbed his neck and picked him up.

Her eye glowed into deep purple as her hand crunched into his neck. Deadpool couldn't talk as his vocal cords were pressured on, silencing him.

Quickly, he brandished his katana and stabbed into Juri's right shoulder.

She screamed out in pain as she lost her grip on his throat.

"Ah the old cords, much better." Deadpool managed to croak out.

Juri stiffed in the sight of her blood flowing out of the deep wound.

"Oh what's wrong little girl? Does the little daddy's girl want a kiss on the booboo?" He proceeded to make kissing noises under his mask.

Juri snapped at that mockery.

"Oh, that's it! You are dying tonight, you piece of shit!" Juri's hands curled into fists, and her eye glowed into a deep inferno of purple.

Deadpool laughed and held his sword out with both hands.

"Prepare to feel the wrath of my Chimichangas and taste my Japanese steel, psycho bitch, BANZAI!" Suddenly the battle started to play in slow motion. Deadpool charged towards Juri with his sword, as Juri activated her secret weapon, the full power of the Feng Shui Engine. Her body surged with a mixture of adrenaline and ecstasy and she charged towards him as well. Deadpool cried out a Highlander reference as he lunged forward. Juri blocked the sword, redirecting it with her arm and slamming her leg onto his exposed neck.

"OH SHIT!" Deadpool's spinning head went flying across the air, landing onto the floor like a ball.

His body collapsed on the ground like a headless chicken. [A bit overdone isn't it?]

Juri grabbed Deadpool's still living head.

"How's the weather up there?"

"Shut it." Juri slammed the head on the ground, making it roll around.

Juri thought of a disturbing idea and started to kick the head around like a soccer ball. Despite Deadpool's protests, he went up in the air and was kicked around by Juri.

"Damn, this is pretty fun!" Juri thought amusingly. Her strong legs bounced his head up and down, once in a while balancing his head on up foot.

Suddenly, in the midst of her torturing, Deadpool's head bounced out of control, slamming in a wall, landing on the stump on his body.

"I'm back!" Deadpool rubbed his healed neck and attacked.

She dodged some blows, until Deadpool had hit her in the face.

She rubbed the bruise on her jaw and activated her Feng Shui Engine again.

Juri laughed sinisterly. She took a battle stance, and gestured Deadpool to attack her.

"Come over here." She made a provocative gesture and smiled once more.

Deadpool sighed.

"Oh please." Deadpool scoffed jokingly. He suddenly wore a fedora and chucked a flash grenade in close range before Juri could react. The grenade exploded, blinding her for a moment. She swaggered about when she felt her guts punched. Deadpool wrenched his fist out of her waist. She cried in pain, attacking aimlessly. Deadpool stuck out his foot and she tripped over it. The assassin fell onto the floor on her face.

Deadpool laughed uncontrollably at Juri's situation.

"Oh my god, I could do this forever! You're more fun than Logan! Say, after this, do you want to go hook up with me?

Juri's sight returned and she finally snapped completely.

She let out a monstrous yell and activated her ability again.

But that the cybernetic eye wasn't working. It fizzed out with static.

"Huh?" She placed more energy From her mind to release the Engine, but to no avail.

"No more coal to burn Hanny?"

Deadpool smirked under his mask.

Juri glared at him with an angry expression.

Deadpool remembered just before he got his head crushed, he saw that her left eye was glowing into a very bright purple orb when she knocked him out. So that cybernetic eye was what augmenting her body.

Juri breathed heavily as she prepared to fight back, exhausted. She knew she couldn't last long like this. Deadpool stood there, unfazed by fatigue. What kind of man was he?

Deadpool didn't pay attention to Juri's struggling to stay standing. He lazily looked over his damaged wrist watch.

"Hmm, I see it is 10:40. It's nearly time for a poker game on the boob tube! Alright, let's finish this!" Deadpool cracked his knuckles.

Juri made a last stand against her unstoppable opponent, but he used her exhaustion to his benefit. She was on her last legs when Deadpool stepped back.

"Since this is a crossover with Street Fighter, it's best I end this fight with my favourite move."

Juri looked at him with a confused look. Most people thought she was crazy. But this really takes the cake! She has officially met a man even more insane than her.

"I hope you like my SHORYUKEN!" He mimicked Ryu's attack. Deadpool's rising fist contacted her lower jaw, ascending with him into the air. Juri cried out in vain as she crashed onto the hard floor, knocking her out.

Deadpool broke the fourth wall, performing the teabag motion over Juri's body.

"How do you like those apples? I won! Hey author, do I get a prize? Preferably cash, cause of, you know." After the mocking was done, Deadpool walked over to his "friend" and karate chopped the chops off Bob's wrists.

"Thanks Deadpool, for saving my bacon." Bob said in gratitude.

"Don't mention it, actually, you owe me, a lot.

He looked over Juri's sexy body, and smirked. He bet he could get a boat load of information from her. He found a dropped pair of blue, satin panties on the ground. He picked it up and stretched it playfully. Another twisted thought came up, which Deadpool would gladly do. He stuffed them in one of his many pouches and the Merc carried her body over her shoulder.

"Let's go my fateful Minion!" Deadpool hauled Juri out with a barely dressed Bob in tow out of the mysterious building, back to Bob's apartment.

The duo had a small conversation on the way back.

"Hey Deadpool, by the way, how did you find me?"

"It was easy; I shoved a tracing device up your ass."

"What?"

PLZ read and comment!


End file.
